California-bound

Suddenly it is my last night in Hawaii.

Hawaii. Where to start.

The first five weeks here, I helped out with the experiments my advisor and her post doc in Hawaii are working on. We're looking at grasses that invaded burned and unburned parts of the dry woodland in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. It looks like after 20 or so years, the grasses might finally be declining (because annual grasses don't hold as much nitrogen as the woody shrubs and trees they replaced), so part of our research involves trying to figure out the best strategy for restoring this part of the park. It probably isn't possible to get rid of the grasses, but we're hoping that as they decline, we might be able to reintroduce some of the native trees and shrubs.

For my birthday (on which I turned the big 3-0), everyone in the lab helped me start fieldwork on my own project, in which I am trying to figure out what sorts of plants some of our native and invasive nitrogen-fixing (meaning they can get nitrogen from the air, unlike most other plants which need to get it from the soil) trees promote and what sort of habitats they tend to inhabit. Sounds simple enough, but it involved a lot of twigs in my nose, woody wet willies, dirt in my eyes as I crawled under stands of four types of trees to see what-all was going on down there and cuts all over my hands and up my forearms as I thrashed through thorny invasive lantana (a plant more than happy to get all up in your grill).

I've been working seven days a week, up to ten hours a day, to get it all done before I head back, and, as of right now, all I have left to do is ship my samples to California before catching a plane back to the Bay myself.

It's still hard to believe I'm here as a part of my real life. Everything here is so different -- the landscape, my social circle, my diet, my weekend activities, everything.

This is a typical weekday: Wake up at 5:30am. Make lunch. Make/eat breakfast. Drive through a gorgeous forest full of ohia trees, ferns, and ginger to get to the lab in the national park by 7am. We load our packs for the day and drive about 10 miles out to our field site in the dry woodland. Park and hike 15-60 minutes to our starting spot. Draw a transect line or a 5x10m plot and count and measure everything growing along or in it. Hike back. Drive back to the lab by 3pm. Unload. If I've been working on my own project: set out the day's soils to airdry in paper bags, weigh yesterday's litter, grind litter and leaf samples and pack them into coin envelopes. Head home to shower around 5pm, eat dinner. Try to read a research paper or catch up on emails/find an apartment/sort out which classes to register for/&c. Fall asleep at 9:30pm.

This is a typical weekend: Saturday sleep in till 6! Eat breakfast, catch up on email. Drive (~30 miles) down to the Hilo Farmers Market to get lunch and produce for the week. Maybe swing by Richardson's beach park for a little snorkeling. Go to KTA for the rest of my groceries. Go home, eat dinner, watch So You Think You Can Dance, fall asleep. Sunday sleep in till 6 again! Drive/walk (depending where I'm living) to the Volcano Farmers Market for bananas, eggs, bread, other produce. Drive (~70 miles) to the Kahuku Unit of the park for a hike -OR- drive down Chain of Craters Road to see the petroglyphs -OR- go back to the lab to work. Shower. Eat. Sleep.

I think I am doing ok at this being a grad student thing, but I am still terrified of Even More Change. Eg. moving to an apartment I've never seen in Goleta, starting classes, moving away from everyone I know for an Indeterminate Amount of Time. At the very least Matt will be coming down in January. I take comfort in that. And people say you can't technically fail out of grad school before it starts. I am excited to live so close to the ocean -- just a short walk from a butterfly preserve and ocean bluffs. I am curious to meet what will be my new grad school friends. But I guess a little piece of me isn't totally convinced that what I'm about to do will necessarily be better than what I'd been doing (the unsustainability of my lifestyle notwithstanding). Life is pretty good in the Bay. I hope Santa Barbara and the Goleta scene will rise to the occasion.

Ok, this is what I am worried about: becoming boring, turning into a stress monster, disappointing my advisor (and making her regret taking a chance on me). But seriously, I don't want to turn one-dimensional just because I am becoming an expert in something. Also, I am sad that I don't know when Matt and I will live in the same place for an extended period of time again, but I know that at least will happen.