So, finally

Really I have been meaning to write more. I've thought of things as I'm running about that would be nice to put in blog-form, but I've been busy with the usual. Trying not to look incompetent in banjo lessons, doing my darndest to finish this quilt for my friend's baby by Thanksgiving [photos to come soon], being utterly engrossed in Animal, Vegetable, Miracle on the shuttle (which I finished this morning!), aaaand yes working late.

Sigh.

But! I have been promoted! and raised! and bonused! So, life is not all bad. Although you wonder what the point is really. Except that I have trouble not trying when I know how to do better. The phrase "'strongest contributor on the team" came up during my review. I really did like my old manager. She was awesome and I was reminded during my review why/how I was maybe inclined to work so hard. It did give me pause, though. Shocking though this may sound, there are other people on the team who are (or so they claim) actually interested in the "online/ecommerce space." How can it be that I'm wowing people's socks off. Sounds like I haven't got my priorities straight.

Regardless of everything else, I am rid of filling out a time sheet for what I hope is a long long long long time. And that is a good feeling. That's all I wanted really, but don't tell HR. I'll take my raise too, thanks.

Anyway, it has been such a contrast getting lost in Barbara Kingsolver gushing about her year of eating local, growing almost all her own food, and even raising her own poultry while doing my best to put the old nose closeish to the grindstone for a few hours in between.

I'll be the first to admit I haven't worked as hard the past couple of months. Working thirteen hours a day is just not something you can do for an extended period of time. Case in point: I have been sick since September. Talk about lame.

I think I've always had a lot of drive, but never much direction. Lately though, in a quiet moment I'm starting to get a vision in my head of what I might want parts of the future to look like. What's really important and what I might be able to give up. The funny thing is, it looks a lot like the naive picture of my adult life I had when I was eightish. Except that I wouldn't be wearing the tiered denim skirt... I love that image so much that I'm afraid to describe it out loud.

In any case, there is hope yet. There is now official written record of my being good at tackling nebulous projects and getting them done.