The human condition is a gregarious one.

Wow. My afternoon practicing banjo in the park turned out to be a little more eventful than I had anticipated. Kind of like a strange dream.

Here are some excerpts of a conversation I had...

Hey is that a banjo?

Can you sing me a song? I'm having a bad day.

Yeah, yeah. That's it. I used to play the banjo. All I can play now is a harmonica. You got a harmonica?

You know what I love is these geese. Canadian geese. I love them. Did you know geese mate for life? I'm a country boy, and I can't keep an old lady for more than five years, but these geese - they mate for life. You see that one there? That's my favorite. I seen him here last time I was in this park. You know how you can tell if a goose is male or female? I'm a country boy, so I know. I grew up in Oklahoma. You know where that is? Well, the female is always watching the male's back. That's what I like in a woman. Someone who can watch my back. I bet you that goose is a male. He's my favorite.

Let me tell you a story. Now, I live in San Francisco, but sometimes I come out here to do some business or see some friends and the last time I came here was ten days ago. I didn't get any sleep. Now, I'm a country boy so I'm up with the sun no matter what and the last time I was out here in this park I was real tired so I laid down right over there. I was here at a time when you're not even supposed to be in this park, but I was sleeping right over there on that grass and I woke up in the middle of the night. I could hear all this noise around me. I thought it was the police so I started swinging, but I looked around and it was these geese! They protected me. All night long. Now, I believe in God, and I believe they protected me, so I love these geese. They're beautiful.

That reminds me of my grandfather. He was real special to me. God rest his soul. [holding his half pint of vodka up to the sky]. My middle name's Clifford, after my grandfather.

[A family with young kids starts playing soccer near by]. What's that?! Wait a minute, let me get a hold of the situation. Ok, it's alright. Tell me, can you do me a favor and let me know if there's any police coming. You don't have to watch out, but if you see any, let me know so I can put this away. I don't like no police. I'll watch this way and you watch that way.

Ladies don't like it when you ask their age, but I got a dog older than you. So how old are you? I got a friend that's your age. She's your exact age. I look at a girl like you and you're just a kid to me.

I'm Tim. What's your name? I got a friend with that same name.

Now there's only three geese! Wait. Is that three or four? My eyes aren't so good. You got glasses. See I need glasses. I used to have glasses but I must've lost 'em in a fight. Or they broke.

No, ten years ago there wasn't any geese. I used to come here. You see that bench. We used to sit over there. We used to be lined up back to back. We used to smoke dope. You know what that is? Things is different now.

Am I giving you an earful? I don't want to be too aggressive. What does that mean, aggressive? I don't know. I'm a southern boy - we don't use big words. I know 'good mornin' 'good afternoon' 'good evenin' 'reckon' ... That's it.

I used to be a big man. I had big guns. I don't now, but I used to do pushups every day. Before you were even born, I was back in Oklahoma. I had a nice red {insert name of fancy car}. This was back before they had radar guns. And a cop pulled me over. And I said, what you want, pig? I call the police that cause I don't like no police. He didn't know it, but I had a gun in my left pocket. The police always carry their guns on the left side in the holster, but I had mine in my left pocket. If he tried anything... Bulletproof vest. Don't matter. I coulda shot him in the forehead. I had my gun in my left pocket. I always check to make sure it's loaded. I cocked it. You know what that means? I coulda shot myself in the leg, but I was ready. What you want, pig? This P------ land. This is private property. That's my name, P------. German. Look at these eyes - you can tell. You try something, I'll get my grandpa down here. This here is P------ land. He didn't know it, but I had another gun in my boot. Right here. I said to him, git busy, pig. He tried anything, I coulda shot him in the head. You know what he said? I'll tell you. He says, Timmy, I wish you wouldn't drive so fast. Tim, that's my name. And he drives off.

Sing me another song. I'm having a bad day and I want to get that good feeling.

Back in Oklahoma, you could get a motorcycle license at fourteen, but my dad used to let me drive even before that. One night I drive over to my friend Denise's house. We were just fourteen and playing pool at her dad's house at three in the morning. Not drinking or nothing, but her dad brought home a big bottle of Crown Royal. You know what that is? Real nice stuff. Fancy. A real big bottle. This big. Well, maybe not that big, but it was big. And you know what I did? I got a big cup, and I filled it up. Denise says to me, my daddy's comin' down any minute. And he walks through that door and I was just fourteen I didn't know what he would do. He says, what's in that cup son? So I said, your Crown Royal. And you know what he said? [Wheezing laughter]. He said, then you better drink it! Yes, sir! I said, may I take your daughter out? And he says, just make sure you bring her back. So, we get on my motorcycle and drive out to my friend's place. He was older than me, but we knew each other. And he had two bedrooms, so I asked if we could sleep there and he says yes. We didn't.. you know. We just slept next to each other. When I woke up the next morning, she was naked, but we didn't fuck. Pardon my French. It was ten years before we made love. Now she moved to Nashville. She's married to another man. Before she went out there she came to me to see if I would marry her, but I said no I'm not in the mood to get married. That was probably a mistake. She was beautiful. You should have seen her.

If you're a lady, you can call me Timmy. Otherwise, you call me Tim.

See where that leaf is? Right there. Ten days ago, I was here with my friend Charles. And there was a lady with huge boobies. Boobies, yeah, that word is ok. She was half-woman. No. You know when sometimes a woman likes men and women? That's what she was. She was Puerto Rican. I don't know what that even means, Puerto Rican, but she was Puerto Rican. And she had huge boobies. Like this. I never seen boobies that big. And she was sitting right there where that leaf is with my friend Charles. I don't normally run with black folks, but Charles is a good guy. A real good guy. And they called me over. We're going to drink together. She gives me fifty dollars and they tell me to go on a run. Charles says he knows me and he can vouch for me. They sent me to the liquor store all the way on 40th Street. You know where that is? 40th Street? So I go all the way down there and get a couple half-pints of vodka and some beers and bring it back. That's what you can get for fifty dollars. And I pick out the first drink. I got runner's rights. You know what that is? When you make a run, you get to pick the first drink. We're drinking and I'm still staring at her boobies, and she told me to come to her apartment. Now, if you're from the south a man doesn't touch a lady unless she asks you to. But then, it's like that kid's game. What is it called? Donkey Kong. Now I'm not good looking. At least not now. Am I? Don't says yes. I know I'm not. But, if a lady asks me, then it's on like Donkey Kong.

You want to hear something funny? I was checking my mail the other day, and I saw I got a letter from my dad. So I took it back to my room and turned all the lights on cause I lost my glasses. And it has a picture of his new old lady. You know how they send pictures on the internet? It was like that. I opened the letter, and a credit card fell out. You know, for the pay phone. And the letter just said. I'm worried about you son. Call and tell me when you're coming home. So I go a couple blocks down the street to the nearest pay phone and call him up. Dad, I said, you're always complaining about how Roxie calls you all the time. Why you want me to call you? Roxie is my sister. Her name is Roxanne. We're German. You see these eyes? You can tell. Her name is Roxanne, but I call her Roxie. My sister is getting out of Washington State not the prison, but the jail in a couple of days. She wants me to fly up to meet her when she gets out. I don't know if I want to go, but she says they gave her some money and she can pay. I don't like flights, but she's supposed to send me the information for the ticket. And my dad says the Mexican wrecked her car and they want to fly me up to take care of things. If you wreck my sister's car, that means business and he better pay. So, I have to think about whether I want to do a few years, but she's family. Usually my dad tells me not to get in trouble, but this time he said go take care of things. If he doesn't pay, I'll kill him. My dad says he'll pay for me. You know what that means? It means he'll pay my bail when I get arrested.

Why do you womens put on so much makeup? You always look better without it.

I have a friend about your age. She's a girl and she's a friend, but we don't fuck. Excuse my language. She's about your age. Twenty-six. I would die for her. I don't want to die, but I would.She's about your age. She's my friend. We never.. I mean we kissed a couple time and sometimes she stays in my hotel, but we never made love. If you're twenty-six, you're just a kid to me. I know women. We're friends. Once you fuck, that changes things. Now, if she was forty. That's a different story. If she was forty, it'd be on like Donkey Kong.

If you look at me, you wouldn't think I would be affiliated with Hell's Angels, but I am. I have short hair now, but you can tell I was a biker. I still am.

I banged on his door. He didn't answer, but I knew he was in there. I could hear the radio on. I wanted to break down his door, but then they'd kick me out of the hotel. Finally he answers and I said you better give me that twenty dollars. He said how about I give you my radio and three sleeping pills instead? And I said, hell yes!

And I had a knife in my jacket just like this. It was open. That's how I got this cut here. I lost that knife. That was a good knife. I don't have my knife today, though. When I have a knife, I get in trouble.

I know everyone in this park. If anyone gives you any trouble, you send them to me. Don't tell them my name. You know my name. Don't tell them my name, but you send them to me and I'll take care of it.

And I'm not sure what to make of all of that. People just want to tell their story, I guess.